Back on track!!

I know that I’ve said that I’m back before but after this weekend and today… I AM

I took a trip to Anglesey to stop with a good friend, I’ve known Iain for best part of twenty years and in that time he’s been my employer, sponsor, manager and long term GOOD friend.

He’s going through a bit of a shit one at the moment so I wanted to try and help him as much as he’s helped me over the years and at the same time he wanted me to spend some time there to sort my head out, get back to what I’m good at and move forward.

I got there sat morning spent some time with Iain and the kid’s, two of his friends and their boy Sam, had a nice bbq some good convo and even though I was in a bunk bed that really isn’t designed for a 6ft 4inc man I slept like I haven’t for as long as I can remember.

Sunday morning, the weather wasn’t looking to great but I headed out on the bike anyway, compared to America I was layered up, three in total!!

As I headed toward to the Welsh mountains I felt like a small child looking in the window of a sweet shop (you know one of the really old fashioned ones), I wanted to spend the day there riding all of them! They looked so tempting but I knew I wouldn’t be bouncing up them like I wanted to so I took the other option, to be fair the easy one, I stayed on the island and rode about 45 miles. It wasn’t a nice ride, it was more that I knew I needed to do it, I still felt really tense, my pedal stroke didn’t feel good and I didn’t feel like I was sitting on the bike right but I pushed on.

I cooked for the guys, more good chat and some red wine and yet again an amazing night’s sleep.
I headed home Monday as a couple of things came up that needed to be dealt with. I still wasn’t sure how I felt about riding a bike anymore, my neck hurt, legs were sore and in fact I was struggling to move my neck buy the time I got home.

Tuesday I visited Ninja he put me through some real pain and on saying good bye he said “pull your figure out, you know what to do now do it!” “Train hard, see you Thursday”

I was on the Annie Oten show again Tuesday morning so I had an early start, I got the train there and back and as I sat looking out the window at the fields and back roads this was where I wanted to be, the sun was shining and it looked lovely.

I headed out on the bike after I’d done a few things at home, I got all my Adidas kit on, new helmet, made sure I had some food, full water bottle, some money and left the house.

The first 3 miles felt great, I was going well and it felt good, legs seemed good, hands weren’t hurting, neck was ok-not great but ok, then something clicked and it felt shit again!

I didn’t want to be on the bike, I felt tense, and it felt like the weekend. I didn’t feel good, decided that I really have had enough of this now, me and the bike are finished, that’s it, it can go back, I’ll get a proper job something that will earn me some money. By the time to got to other side of Crick I was doing my own head in, I jumped off the bike, unclipped my helmet and through it on the floor (grass) the bike followed and I stomped around like a child with the same thoughts as before rolling around in my head.

I sat on the side of the road like a child on the naughty step, I really had had enough now, I cried I was in a dark place, I was angry, I wanted to ring for a lift home even though I was only about 6 miles from home but that didn’t matter… I QUIT!!!

My iPod was on shuffle and at the time I was listening to fun loving criminals but the next song was Eminem, I’m not afraid from the recovery album. I’ve said before that I like this tune but it came at the time I needed it (who or what ever made that happen did me a treat)

I started to have a word with myself again, I’ve been riding bikes on and off for 20 years, pull your figure out, why doesn’t it fell good?? Anyway the next 40 miles were amazing, I loved every minute, lungs burning, heart pounding as daddy Wright would say eyeballs out!! I was on fire, not where I was or where I need to be but I felt great and I just wanted to keep going, I was even enjoying the head wind…..

I really do feel like I’m back now, i want to be out on the bike all the time, I found my love again so I’ve decided that as I’m riding in the Alps with Macmillan in September I’m actually going to ride there as well…

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